I already tried to tell her that i know that she's worried for me, but like that she doesn't help, like yk, i was in a depressive episode and she said that if i really want to die to do it quickly, and that I'm just lazy, that doesn't help at all, you just really make me want to commit.

Everyone says that it's because she wanted to move me, yk? Because she didn't know what to do because she kept seeing me in a depressive episode and she thought that saying something like that would give me the force to get up and do something or something like that, but that doesn't help at all. I was so close to commit that night right after she said that, i felt so fucking bad.